To be or not to be: that IS the question.
I was in a bit of a pickle. I had a heat resistant mat that I needed to put under my woodstove before I could use it, but there was no way that I could put it there myself. In order to do that I would have to lift the woodstove, slide the pad in to the exact place and then lower the 400 pound woodstove down gently so as to not dent the pad or the floor.
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I sat at my kitchen table trying to think of the biggest, strongest people I knew that could help me, and hope that they were available at that time. Then I thought, I know, I'll call Neville! He knows everyone, and he may be able to help too! True to Neville's form, he knew someone who could help me... himself and his son Josiah.
So, here we were in my dining room, Neville and I on each side of the woodstove, Josiah in front ready to push the pad in, "OK" I said, "On three. One... two... three... lift!" "hnnnngggggghhhh..." I groaned "it's no use" I said, as I tried, to no avail to lift my side off the floor, while Neville's side easily rose to 8 to 10 inches, "I can't lift this!" I whined. "There has to be a better way!"
"I know" I said, "I'll just make a fulcrum, and then I'll be able to do it"
Off I ran to get the material that I needed. I returned less than 5 minutes later and started to set it all up. All the while that I was preparing, Josiah was laughing and giggling at me, and Neville was just standing there looking at me with this very innocent face.
"What's so funny?" I asked? Josiah looked at the woodstove, then looked at me and said "It's done." "What is?" I asked. Then I looked down and saw it. The pad was already under the woodstove and in place. While I was out getting the material for my "science experiment", Neville had lifted the 400 pound stove by his own brute strength, and Josiah had maneuvered the pad into place. I stood there dumbfounded. "How in the world did you do that?" I stammered, shocked and amazed that he had the strength to do it. "That's impossible." "No it isn't" Neville said, you just have to lift low and close to it, and it's easy".
I have never felt so inadequate in all my days. At that moment I felt like that skinny guy that used to be in all the old comic books. You know the one where this skinny guy is on the beach, and the big strong guy comes by and kicks sand in his face and takes his girl. Don't get me wrong, I was extremely grateful that he could help me, and I was totally in awe of his strength, I just felt like a weak wimp. Actually, I think it was more embarrassment than anything else that was getting to me. I always thought that I was in good shape, I mean, I usually run about 35 Kilometers a week, but I guess I'm not. The more I thought about it, the more inadequate I felt. I just wanted to be stronger so that I could at least lift my half of the 400+ pounds.
Have you ever felt inadequate when you compared yourself to others? Like you just didn't measure up to your own expectations, and you pretended to be someone who you weren't? We are all sometimes intimidated by other people's abilities like confidence, communications skills, knowledge or even their looks. This desire to "be like them" drives us to do rash things to our bodies and sometimes to our relationships. What is this need that we sometimes seem to have to compare ourselves to others and wish we had what they had? How many times have we heard about some young teen girl who became anorexic, just to look like someone that she saw in a magazine, or another person who joined a gang, just to fit in, or another person who took up drinking or doing drugs, just to be accepted?
Of course, we all want to be accepted, and often we will do things that we wouldn't normally do, just to get that recognition, but after it is all over, we are still the same person who stares back in the mirror, with our own quiver full of strengths and weaknesses... no more, no less. And wishing ourselves into another character or strength will not create them. We may wish that we were smarter, we may wish that we were better looking, or we may even wish that we were stronger, but we are what we are, and no amount of wishing will change that: actions will do a lot of it, but wishing won't. We must learn to be authentic.
To be truly happy in life means accepting who you are, and what you have to offer. Much has been written on the importance of being yourself, or being authentic, but it all comes down to your decisions in life. I love what Chuck Swindoll said about this:
1. Know who you are.
2. Accept who you are.
3. Be who you are.
I would go further and add first, "Learn who you are".
This week, dare to learn who you are so that you can be the most authentic person that you can be. Only then can you be truly happy.
Make this your best week ever.
Paul
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